Lagos: The City of Chaotic Order

(Conductors Chanting)

 Oshodi Oke, Oshodi Oke
Iyana-Ipaja, Iyana- Ipaja
Ketu-Ojota-Mile 12
Oshodi Oshodi Oke, Oshodi Oshodi Oke
Ewole kpelu changi o, Enta wit your change
Na sis for back, madam abeg shift inside
Ketu lanlo straight o, no dropping for Maryland
Madam I say shift make another passenga enta; na sis for back
Dis place tite now, where you want make I shift go
Na sis passenga we dey carry for back
Idi e ti to bi ju!
Your papa, you tink say I no hear yoroba
Na your mama you dey follow tuck. Ekwensu. Otunegi caravan
Passenga fe wole. If you no wan shift come down
Madam please come and sit in front with me
Conductor, shebi na two for front, make she come manage with me for here
(Driver interjects) Na one for front. Awon olopa wan titi o. Police dey road o. Abi you get waso wey you go give dem.
If that’s the case, make she come front, I go settle dem.
(Passengers wait for last commuter)
Onwole Okpomo (Pregnant woman with infants strapped to her back finally enters and sits)
Your money for back. Three hundred naira change o
(Up roar in bus)
What rubbish, For What, Lai Lai, God forbid, You Be Tiff? Omo Ale Oshi, Ko ni Da fu e
When I dey suffa buy fuel, 200 naira pa lita, where you dey? Govament don commot subsidy.
Sodiafor pay me my money or come down. Ko si story!
Dem commot subsidy no mean say bus wey I enta yestaday for here 70 naira go don reach 300. Which kain tiff you be sef? Driver you no go caution your conductor?
No be fight o, if you no fit pay me my money, abeg come down. Iyana-Ipaja, Iyana-Ipaja;
Iyana-Ipaja, Iyana-Ipaja (He chants)
Only God knows what dis country is turning into.
Na Yesterday, President Lucky announce the removal of subsidy and everything don go up.
Imagine Yaba to Ojuelegba dis moning na 100 naira. See as people dey rush for BRT today like animal.  Na God go punish dis government people. I say God go punish all of them. Na me Mr. Dabid Makus tuk am….
To Be Continued…
©2011 Ewoigbokhan Otaigbe Itua
NB: The characters used in this piece are fictional and semblance to real persons is entirely coincidental
Itualive! ™


  1. Anonymous says:

    hahahaha very nice. really well done, i could see it in my mind's eye

  2. chets says:

    you've nailed it once again. Creative……you're getting unpredictable. Keep it up!!!

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