Photograph of the President, Police Chief, and Police commissioner hang on the wall.

Abeg who dey here o. Una Good morning o

Good morning. Kpom Kpom Kpom

Police office wakes up and responds

Mister man, wetin be your problem?

If I come your house kan wake you like dis, you go like am?


Oga, no vex, na tif come awa yard about too awas ago, naim I sey make I come police station come inform una

Ehen, so because tif come your house, that na why yu come wake us for station?

Anyway, no wahala, wetin your time tuk?

Na, for twenty five sa.

Yu go go house come back except you wan wait till morning

Na morning people go take your case

Ok sa


Good morning madam, my name na Lawani Furuk

Yes good morning Oga, how can we help you?

I come report case of robbery for my yard for Ebute Metta

Ok, which time the occurrence occur?

Na around that kain tuh o clock for mo-mo

Sometin happen since morning, why u just dey come station?

So you wait for seven awas to report case?

I be come before, but the officer wey I meet tuk sey make I come later sey na morning people go handle am

You be mumu o, and you sef go house, e be like sey the tiff no come your house true true.

Officer shakes her head in disgust

Una see d kain nonsense wetin Kasali dey do?

Na God go punisham.

Instead of make e do im work, he go dey give anoda person extra work

Oga sit down for chair for that room. I go call you later. The person wey dey with the statement form and entry book go chop for back yard. E just lock am by mistake for locker. Just wait 5 minutes e go come now now.  Just stay at alert, I go call you when e come.




Oya oga come o, the officer don come. Come write your statement.

Ok. Tank u officer

Dis one wey I try for you call the officer, you go shine eye well o before u commot . (she smiles)

Lawani Furuk tries to hide his displeasure with a smile back

Yes Mr. Lawani Furuk, make we go my office go take your statement. I here say na robbery incident, na me be the IPO in charge for your case, my name na Corporal RASIDI MANA.

To Be Continued…

©2013 Otaigbe Itua Ewoigbokhan

NB: The characters used in this piece are fictional and semblance to real persons is entirely coincidental.

Itualive! ™



  1. Okhide E says:

    Right on the money! You have to bribe them to do their jobs! The police is the most corrupt government agency next to the office of the president, the legislative and the judiciary. It’s a pity, and to think they are directly supposed to secure the lives and property of the populace.

  2. cycatrx says:

    I imagine d humor that’ll come along…….

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