So na so im appun, Corporal Rasidi Mana, na so the hole tin appun oh.
Ok. Mr. Furuk Lawani, I don hear the mata. D tin now be say, after you write your statement finish, we go come go your house go do the investigation. We go lock up your may gard for like tree weeks. E go confess. From wetin u tell me, e be like say e go follow know d tiff. But u no go write for your statement sey na arm robbery o. If you tuk that one, den we go nid to transfer the case go anoda division. Except sey na wetin u want be dat?
Oga Corporal, na report I come report for station. I no no which one be division. I wan make una catch tiff wey come my house, come slap my wife for my front. Any division wey go do the work, make e do am.
Mister Man, listen to me. I get wok do. I just sey make I help you take up dis case. If dem carry go anoda division, u don complicate matas be dat. Just write as I tell u; tiff enter house, carry some tins commot. Simple! Na we go go take no how we go do d investigation, abi u wan teach us awa work? If you wan write arm robbery, make I kukuma go call anoda officer. (Stands up and slowly moves towards the door).
Abeg no go Corporal Maina, I go write am as u tuk am. I just wan do d propa tin sa. But I go write as u tell me.
No write as I tell u. Write wetin appun but without arm robbery. Chikena. Proppa tin (scoffs). Oga just write abeg. But she you no sey before we start the investigation, u go mobilize us?
Mobilize u? As how, Corporal Rasidi Maina
Dis man sef, we you from come? All dis kain question wey u dey ask, you wan make we investigate or not?
Corporal Mana, why I come police before? No be because I want make una help me?
See d many question wey you for the ask. If na like dis you be, maybe we go transfer your case true true. Mr. Furuk Lawani, abi no be your name be that? If you wan make we work with awa full mind, den u must push d work small. Oda wise nothing go appen. I no go tell you wetin to do, but I believe sey, you get church mind.
Ok sa. I don here. Make we dey go my house. We go tuk dat one later.
(Bursts into hysteric laughter) See dis man o. I resemble Ashawo for your eye? Even Ashawa nawadays dey collect advance. (Laughs). E get one man last week for here wey ashawo bring come station for nite. The ashawo tuk sey d man do and e no wan pay. The man tuk sey e no do anything. No be small money o-fifteen t-a-s-a-n-d. But as woman tin no get meter, sodia for , no evidence against d man. Case dismissed. The man do for free. (Laughs).
So Mister Furuk, I no be ashawo. I no come Lagos come count bridge.
(Furuk Lawani takes out five thousand naira from his pocket and hands it over to Corporal Rasidi Mana who pockets it quickly without counting)
How much dey dere?
Na five t-a-s-a-n-d.
Wetin be that? By d time I give DPO im own, and I give Crime Officer im own, wetin go come rem…
(Their conversation is interrupted by a plain cloth police man bringing in a hand cuffed pale looking man. Corporal Maina Salutes)
Good Morning sa!
Corporal Maina, commot dis man case file (pointing to the man in cuffs) we dey charge am to court today. Nobody come bail am for more dan one month so we must transfer am go kirikiri today. Dem sey that na new IG directive.
When you find im file, you come meet me for my office. (Leaves office with man in cuffs)
You see wetin ma Oga tuk, e be like say you go come some oda time
Some oda time?
You and dis questions wey you dey ask, you no here wetin my oga tuk. Just be patient, collect my number and come next time… (Corporal Rasidi Mana leaves the office)
To Be Continued…
©2013 Otaigbe Itua Ewoigbokhan
NB: The characters used in this piece are fictional and semblance to real persons is entirely coincidental.