FUEL SUBSIDY: THE MORNING AFTER

L-R (Sanusi Lamido, Christine Lagarde, Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala)

In logic, an “argumentum ad populum” (latin phrase for “appeal to the people”) is a fallacious argument that concludes a proposition to be true because many or most believe it. It alleges: “If many believe so, then it is so”.  Therefore it is more fallacious to think that a few people comprising the President and his economic team headed by the coordinating minister of the economy, Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, the Governor of the Central Bank, Sanusi Lamido Sanusi and the minister for petroleum, Dieziani Alison Madueke, would claim that removing the subsidy on petrol would end all of Nigeria’s problems.  As pristine as their argument seems, it is illogical to believe that subsidy removal would suddenly provide golden streets, sky scrapers, hospitals, and state of the art universities.

Government’s arguments have been closed ended and based on principles of free market economies that are rather grandiose and superfluous. So many assumptions have been made and the begging question: “what if no investor comes to build refineries” is left unanswered. The finance minister in a bid to lend credence to the policy suddenly turned health minister overnight and became an expert on maternal and child mortality. She is so sure that the “savings” derived from fuel subsidy will save our dying children. Her counterpart, Madueke Alison spoke ever so brilliantly about how the transport industry she doesn’t head will be transformed with speed trains traversing Kano into Lagos. Interestingly, Madueke was the transport minister from July 2007 to December of 2008 and she could not provide choo- choo trains then and now speaks of speed trains.  Everything about the benefit of subsidy removal is futuristic. Nothing concrete has been achieved by this administration to judge them or trust them by.

 In the last week, it was evident that Nigerian leaders are completely out of touch with the people they claim to lead. When I heard a government spokes person suggest that it is the bourgeois of the society and not the proletariat who would suffer from the effect of the removal of subsidy because they (the middle class) have more than one car. It depicted how out of touch she was with the common man’s plight.  “How does a minimum wage earner survive”, a close friend of mine keeps asking me. The finance minister has no answer either but she was quick to quip that she feels their pain.  She claims she knows that the price of rice has jumped up over night. She even knows that some people travelled to their villages for the Christmas and have since not returned because the fares sky rocketed. She sympathizes well but cannot empathize because she lacks the capacity.

The good will that ushered President Jonathan’s administration is gone. He is no longer referred to as fresh air. He has surrounded himself with rich kids and forgotten he didn’t have shoes. He seems to be completely sold out on the idea of removal of subsidy. He has not said anything about his government’s inadequacy to fight corruption. He has not been so defiant in ensuring that our borders are less porous in order to prevent subsidized fuel crossing into neighboring countries.  He has not reduced the amount of money spent on the Louis Vuitton rice and beans eaten in Aso rock. No one from his cabinet has demanded a reduction in the extravagant life styles of government staff. The 25% slash in basic salary doesn’t cut it, especially when he (Jonathan) was reported to have flown to South Africa with two aircrafts and a deluge of government contingents after his broadcast. The trust the people had for him has vanished completely. President Obama’s health bill took over a year before he got republicans, his own party members and the rest of America to buy into his policy. The British prime minister flies British Airways. The Ghanaian president lives in his own home. But our dear president announces to the world and all that cared to listen that he had cut his basic salary by 25% without touching the needless allowances hemorrhaging the country.  

 Am quiet convinced that if the government’s self “austerity measure” and “palliatives” had taken effect before the announcement on January 1^st, Nigerians may have been a bit more perceptive. The afterthought manner by which the “palliatives” were announced was a bit insulting.  And to think that every government lackey was proud to announce the purchase of 1,600 diesel engine buses (like it was a lottery ticket) for 150 million people is laughable.

This insensitivity has resulted in mass protests and rallies organized by incensed Nigerians, civil society groups and organized labour. The Occupy Now movement that sailed across the world through Europe, North Africa and the Middle East has anchored in Nigeria. The government knew there would be resistance but they certainly didn’t envisage what happened last week. They thought it would be the regular NLC protests that lose steam after some horse-trading. But with the help of social media sites like facebook and trends like #occupynigeria on twitter which fueled the protests, the FG resolved a re-negotiate would be best. It used to be the NLC fighting for the people but now it is the people that are fighting for the NLC. Nasir el Rufai and Pastor Tunde Bakare have been mere rallying points, the people themselves are angry. All those that supported Jonathan during his campaign have renounced him.

A lot has been written on the subsidy issue so I would not over flog it. All I will try to do today is highlight the positives we can take away from it.

NOW WE KNOW

Before now, there had been quite a lot of speculations on how much really it cost to run the government. The debate over removal of subsidy has brought to light the amount of monies spent in the kitchen of the President. The amount of money allotted for foreign trips, the ridiculous sums used to buy photocopying machines every year. We know that there was even a KPMG audit of the NNPC that the government has refused to touch with a long stick until now. We know there is a cabal the government cannot prosecute, we know how much fuel is sold in Venezuela and we know that we don’t know how much crude oil we export daily. The list goes on. The general populace is aware and wants accountability now. We are no longer content with just admiring the politician and excusing mediocrity with stupid phrases like “chop I chop”. There is a general hatred for corruption and this is good. A time will come where capital punishment will be canvassed for as penalty for corruption. No more plea bargains.

I HAD NO SHOES (YEAH RIGHT!)

I liked this line sadly. I wasn’t fooled but I admit it was a clincher. The disappointment over the Jonathan administration would teach us to focus on issues and not sentiments during elections. When someone promises you 200,000 jobs and 4000Mega bytes of electricity, we will learn to ask him (or her), how he would come by it. The last election was overshadowed by zoning and how a true son of the soil was finally president and that was the reason many including my humble self supported him. No key developmental issue was discussed and if anybody brought it up, they were labeled “cabal” or detractors. The truth is, a government that is quick to hands-off responsibility from its citizenry at the drop of the hat has no business in power. The average politician in power sees the regular Nigerian as an inconvenience he is forced to deal with. The government doesn’t tax her citizens like most developed economies and hence doesn’t think he owes him anything. He rigs himself into power and sustains himself with free oil money. It is that simple. He owes you nothing.  The Nigerian people actually subsidize the government. When you sink your own bore hole, you subsidize government, when you buy a generator, you subsidize your government, when you pay extra private tutors for your child because the public schools are useless then you have subsidized the government. Most leaders in Nigeria do not know the first thing about leadership and must be put through stringent public scrutiny. Not having shoes or being a “facebook” president should be addendums and not the core.  Most Nigerians cannot be blamed anyway because in the last election we were granted the devils alternative. And men indeed have fallen.

UNITY

It is true that adversity brings people together. During the mass protest, Nigerians showed love towards each other. People donated for others to eat, others brought pure water. This is the kind of selfless love the apostles shared after Pentecost. Where you esteem another above yourself and it should be commended. In Abuja, Christians stood guard as Muslims prayed. Boko Haram members would have been sick to their stomachs to see such a sight. That was pure beauty. The plan to pitch Muslims against Christians failed because of adversity. And sadly for them, they found out the hard way that they aren’t the centre of attraction. Prior to the mass protests, it was Boko Haram news. Not that I don’t like us discussing important issues but there is something about fear that cripples. Fear pervades and paralyzes the mind like cancer to the body. It had begun to affect the way we see each other and suspicion and discord was breeding.  The Nigerian youth also finally knows what it means to be patriotic.  He knows that selling his vote for N500 is selling his future.

CONCLUSION

Perhaps the most compelling argument against the retention of subsidy was that posited by the Central Bank Governor, Sanusi Lamido Sanusi. He says it is not economically sound to peg the pump price of fuel at N65 when other factors such as inflation rate and crude oil prices vary. He has a valid point and I was almost swayed. But I can’t get over the fact that if we fix our refineries and build new ones we would not even have a need for subsidy. Government doesn’t seem to want to take up any responsibility at all.

I had written a while ago on my support for subsidy removal because of the fraud in it but after a critical look at things, government will need to thread softly. There has to be guarantees. Trust is earned and they must earn back the peoples trust back. Infrastructure must be put in place to show that the government is  working. People must begin to go to prison for the sins against our nation. And a staggered approach to the removal of subsidy (if it must be removed) while refineries are being built should be adopted.   It is an illusion for us to believe fuel will remain N65 naira forever.

©2012 Otaigbe Itua Ewoigbokhan

Itualive! ™

CHRONICLES OF A MOTOR PARK: MR DABID MARKUS (PART THREE)

TRANSPORT UNION RALLY AT OJOTA MOTOR PARK

Solidarity forever!

Solidarity forever!

Solidarity forever!

We shall always fight for our right!

Soli-Soli-Soli

(Union chairman mounts podium)

Greatest Nigerian pipu

Great!

Greatest Gbo-Gbo

Greatest Gba-Gba

Greatest of the greatest Nigerian pipu

G-r—rr-ee-aa-t!!!

(Dabid Makus and his cronies join the rally)

Dis govament too wicked sef

Dem no just send poor man at all

Kinleji, instead make you dey find customer

You dey dere dey complain up and down

Na only too fone we don collect since dis strike start

But Dabid, make we sidon tuk dis matter,

Dis strike over subsidy wey dem remove don dey affect awa busyness seriously

Nobody dey come moto park again

I just taya my broda

President Lucky wan kill person

Na my friend Okonji, na im I pity pass

Di man go inewi for Chrismas, e no kon get money take come back

Na very big fool o, e travel no carry im wife go. How im no go travel with that kind wife wey im get?

Anoda man don dey service am for im house

Im wife kukuma  neva commot subsidy for her wrapper. (chuckles)

But Dabid, if we tuk truth, dis govament dey try us sha

Shey you hear d kain money wey dem dey use wak for villa

One billion

Ewoh. Na Africa wan chop

See dis one, so you neva hear sef

Dat one no even vex me sef

How one human being go carry sis hundred million as salary my broad, one man, kai (shakes head painfully).

Kinleji, if to sey na me get dat kain money ehn, I go just die. True to God

My wife go no sey, Dabid na great man

Isiewu plus Nkwobi every night

That stupid small gel wey dey whine waste for me go hear am

She dey do iyanga for me, dey swing waste for her papa

She go bow to the great Dabid Makus.

Dabid dat na why you no go ever see dat kain money

Because na so so bad thing you go use am do

If na me wey get sis hundred million, and I dey govament, I go do only good thin

I go destroy dis cabal wey President Lucky dey fear

Because everything thing wey no good for dis country e be like say na cabal cause am

If your wife no fit cook, na cabal

If she no fit perform, na cabal,

Fuel no dey, na cabal,

Road no good, na cabal,

Light no dey, na cabal

If Boko Haram kill, na cabal, I just taya. It is just too bad.

(Police armored trucks arrive rally venue. One Police man takes hold of a Public Address Sytem)

This is Commissioner  Sakusi. L. Sakusi, I will not repeat myself

Leave this place at once or else…

Oya start to fire dem

(Tear gas canisters and bullets are released, protesters run for cover).

(Later that Day in Dabid Makus’ home)

Nkem, Nkem, abeg bring my food abeg.

Why you dey shat for my head, na me send you go protest. (Laughs)

Oya sorry my husband, I go make am up to you later (smiles).

Nkem abeg on television, na nine o clock news.

(Nkem turns on TV.  Cutlery falls from Dabid’s hand as he stares in disbelief )

(Goggled General makes a broadcast on Television)

Fellow Nigerians,

Due to the recent insecurities in the country in the last few months

We have decided that enough is enough

The Supreme Military Council have dissolved all arms of government

We have dissolved all trade unions and all political parties

We have dissolved all state governments

We have dissolved all things

THE END.

©2012 Otaigbe Itua Ewoigbokhan

NB: The characters used in this piece are fictional and semblance to real persons is entirely coincidental.

Itualive! ™

CHRISTMAS IN CALABAR

The Year 2011 has finally come to an end. It was glad to see the end of a year that witnessed a lot  of bloodshed in Nigeria. I hope that 2012, will usher in laughter and joy and peace and happiness.  I love Nigeria and we should understand that without peace, there can never be economic growth. I admonish you all to strive to be better as a unit so we can all be stronger as a whole.

I thank you all for the support you have given  Itualive!  and , I wish you all a very prosperous 2012.  And so in the spirit of the New Year, in this  month of January, I will not post any write-ups relating to   Bombs, Boko-Haram,  bullets,  subsidy removal or (Oh-my-God), the senseless killings that happened today in Eboyi State.

It will be happy posts all the way. And to begin this series of happy posts (wink), I got my friend (rather cajoled him) to write on his experience at the just concluded Calabar festival in Cross River State. When I read it, it made me smile, and I hope you will too…Happy New Year!

If your boyfriend no dey do you well….clap, clap, clap, clap….away!

Such a catchy tune I must admit…more so after this trip.

I got into Cross River State on the 24^th of December from Vandeikya in Benue State. Due to the poor state of roads in the country, the journey into Cross River had promised to be long and tedious. And tedious it turned out to be! The image I had formed of Cross River State prior to my visit was that of lush green vegetations with flowery trees hanging on every side of the road, a plush lifestyle of the people and roads devoid of potholes; but nothing on earth could have prepared me for the disappointment I got only three minutes into Ogoja.

Ogoja, I was told is the major town before Calabar and about 72km away from Ikom. The bad roads there dealt intricately with every spine in my body from Ogoja to Ikom and only got better after we got to the Atimaka Bridge.

I turned to ask the passenger beside me when we got to Ikom whether it was clear sailing from then on to Calabar. I wanted to know if we where anywhere close because I had gotten really cranky. But he just grinned   and pointed at a road sign which read, “Calabar – 214km, Cameroon – 225km”. About the potholes, he was kind enough to add: “it is better from here on”. I almost reeled in excitement. This incipient joy, led me into thinking I could head over into the neighboring country of to get my passport stamped just for kicks. After all, it was invariably the same distance. Actually, the distance from Ogoja to Calabar was farther than from Ikom to Cameroon. Phew!

We made a pit stop and when the driver returned from his rest we journeyed an extra 214km into Calabar. The bad roads did not reduce passing through Obubra; the driver was swaying from one side of the road to another, like a snake through the grass to avoid potholes. I got a slight relief from the waist pains at Iyamogong and Ovonum.

The mind however, is a funny thing and the body does not remember pain. After passing through Ugep and Akamkpa and finally arriving at Calabar, the instant amnesia that hit me was overwhelming.

I have never been to Calabar, and I must say it is a beautiful town!  I got there at dusk and the Christmas lights were already up all around the town. The driver of the bus finally came to a stop at Gbogobiri; a name I thought was strange. Before I got to my final destination, I passed by the slanting flood lights of the  stadium, the gigantic National flagpole of the Millennium Park and the Cultural Centre which was already a beehive of activities. My pain was gone….

The sight of a town with so much vivacity pulsed my veins heavily. The people in this town lived for this time in the year, it was some sort of African Saturnalia. A friend of mine was to pick me up and while I waited, I took some time to mill around the cultural centre. Everything was being sold there and as I got to look around, I discovered it had been an open market since the first of December. Music blared from every angle cutting through distance and space and people switched to beats as they walked shedding each sound like cajoling vendors in a market place.

That night, I slept with promises and dreams of Christmas in this beautiful city.

The next day, I was jolted from my sleep by text messages wishing me a Merry Christmas. I   replied them, sent as much as I could and called as many people my call credit could afford me. I prepared for church. There was a Winners Chapel in Calabar and I asked my friends to take me there regardless of the present “slaps giving” video brandished all over the internet. Winners and The Redeemed Christian Church of God are the only two churches I can comfortably go when I am away from home. So I reclined into my seat while I listened to the preacher spew out those ever encouraging words.

“This coming 2012 would be the most prosperous year you will ever experience!”

“Amen!” the people chorus.

“The Lord would surprise you beyond your expectations before the year runs out!”

“Amen!”, again.

“I say, this Christmas is just a stepping stone. Come next year you will climb that ladder that makes you a leader in Jesus name!”

“Amen!”  Again, and again.

On stepping out of the church, I received two text messages informing me about the bomb blasts at Madalla and Plateau State. A sad countenance came over me and in some sort way, I felt a bit shocked because here I was in a different world, a different planet obviously impervious to the sadness of the country that surrounds it. Everyone was in a festive mood; jumping from one beat to another not aware that a little girl just lost her entire family in that blast.

As it turns out, one can’t beat the system one finds himself, so eventually the merriment continued and the Guinness lounge had the highest turnout of people that night. Each person had space just enough to move within his own perimeter, bodies were close enough to touch willingly or unwillingly, the coloured lights flickered on and off intermittently. With the beats on, especially in these parts of Calabar, the thoughts of National insecurity receded fast like a demon shadow in the presence of light. The D.J put that V.I.P song on repeat, the crowd soared, and their hands synchronized….clap, clap, clap, clap away!

“Africa’s largest street party”, as it is fondly called is a beautiful thing. It draws people from all over the world and the states in Nigeria to this hub-spot for the two highpoints of the carnival which takes place on the 26^th and 27^th December ever year. This festival became popular when Donald Duke was Governor and the culture is being maintained by the Current Governor, Liyel Imoke. If there is one thing the successive governments in Cross River have successfully managed in every administration, it is culture and tourism. I mean, look at such places like Obudu and Tinapa (though underutilized in my personal opinion) are examples of tourist attractions that the state can proudly boast of.

One good thing about the carnival is the sense of belonging which it gives the people of Calabar. It’s like their thought goes thus, “the world comes to watch our own thing”. During the children’s carnival on the 26^th, mothers came out to cheer their children to dance. Though some of the children were tired, from the direct heat of the sun, it is not strange to see a dancer giving an on-looker a hi-five during the procession.

On the 27^th of December, at approximately 11.30am, the adult procession started. I was at Mary Slessor’s. I got to know that the carnival was actually a competition between five bands namely; Passion 4, Masta Blasta, Freedom, Seagull and Bayside. They danced choreographically and seductively to the blasts from the mighty trailer speakers anchored with tight ropes to the trailer’s floor. The crowd cheered, it was ecstatic.

One thing I must commend is the costumes. The colours were bright and exaggerated. From red to blue, pink to purple, yellow to green. Everything shone like a mix of the rainbow with the reflection from the sun. Surely, a lot of hard work had been put into this great moment. I was not disappointed. Other groups which took part in the fanfare were the Immigration and Customs band, the Prisons band, the Police band, the 13^th Brigade Akim Barracks band. Also First bank and Dangote Group of companies had their bands as sponsors of the event.

I have no idea of who won the prize (10 million Naira I think) and maybe that’s not so important. I guess what is important is the fun such an event creates and also the revenue boost each year that such event provide the state.

A very big thank you to my friends Emeka Okoli, Obiora Onyeagba and Tochukwu Okwonna who made my stay there worth its while.

Probably the next time I will be writing about a carnival of this nature, it will be from the samba capital, Rio de Janeiro Brazil. Wouldn’t I just love that?

Humming (clap, clap, clap, clap……….away!)

Dr.  Otuonye Ubasinachi (PharmD)

Writes from Calabar
Itualive! ™

MOHAMMED BOUAZIZI: Itualive! PERSON OF THE YEAR, CHRISTMAS DAY BOMB BLASTS AND THE IMPLICATIONS FOR NIGERIA

The year 2011 is indeed a year of the revolution. A year hallmarked by rebellion, and uprisings from Tunisia to Egypt and then to Libya. Whether against hegemonic governments, or politicians and their politics, the revolts will make 2011 a year we will never forget. Be it the Arab Spring or the Occupy Now Campaigns on Wall Street, one thing is common to all-the people are fighting back. Arabs who before now were considered to be the most docile people on earth have since woken up. And it all began with one man- Mohammed Bouazizi.

The choice of Mohammed Bouazizi as Itualive! Person of the Year stems from the fact that his sacrificial act of self immolation led to the liberation of millions of people around the world. He inspired the toppling of dictators like Muammar Gaddafi and Hosni Mubarak.  

Mohamed Bouazizi (29 March 1984 – 4 January 2011);  was a Tunisian street vendor who set himself on fire on 17 December 2010, in protest of the confiscation of his wares and the harassment and humiliation that he reported was inflicted on him by a municipal official and her aides. His act became a catalyst for the Tunisian Revolution and the wider Arab Spring, inciting demonstrations and riots throughout Tunisia in protest of social and political issues in the country. The public’s anger and violence intensified following Bouazizi’s death, leading then-President Zine El Abidine Ben Ali to step down on 14 January 2011, after 23 years in power.

According to reports, local police officers had allegedly targeted and mistreated Bouazizi for years, including during his childhood, regularly confiscating his small wheelbarrow of produce; but Bouazizi had no other way to make a living, so he continued to work as a street vendor. Around 10 p.m. on 16 December 2010, he had contracted approximately US$200 in debt to buy the produce he was to sell the following day. On the morning of 17 December, he started his workday at 8 a.m. Just after 10:30 a.m., the police began harassing him again, ostensibly because he did not have a vendor’s permit. However, while some sources state that street vending is illegal in Tunisia, and others that Bouazizi lacked a required permit to sell his wares, according to the head of Sidi Bouzid’s state office for employment and independent work, no permit is needed to sell from a cart.

Bouazizi did not have the funds to bribe police officials to allow his street vending to continue. Similarly, two of Bouazizi’s siblings accused authorities of attempting to extort money from their brother.

Regardless, Bouazizi’s family claims he was publicly humiliated when a 45-year-old female municipal official, Faida Hamdi, slapped him in the face, spat at him, confiscated his electronic weighing scales, and tossed aside his produce cart. It was also stated that she made a slur against his deceased father.  Bouazizi, angered by the confrontation, ran to the governor’s office to complain and to ask for his scales back. Following the governor’s refusal to see or listen to him, even after Bouazizi was quoted as saying “‘If you don’t see me, I’ll burn myself’,” he acquired a can of gasoline from a nearby gas station and returned to the governor’s office. While standing in the middle of traffic, he shouted “how do you expect me to make a living?” He then doused and set himself alight with a match at 11:30 a.m. local time, less than an hour after the altercation. (Source: Wikipedia, click for full story)

Perhaps if not for Mohammed, these countries would still remain under oppression as they were before. Although I strongly believe that if it wasn’t Bouazizi, it would have been someone else. There is a limit to which you can oppress people. If these uprisings didn’t happen in 2011 it would have happened in 2095. Mohammed just ignited a fire that had been stoked for so long in the hearts of the thousands of young men and women in the Arab World.

The question that keeps bugging my mind is this: how many times have the Nigeria police harassed and even killed hapless individuals over 20 naira bribes? Do we have to experience our own version of Mohammed Bouazizi before our Police men begin to treat people with courtesy? Police constantly oppress ordinary citizens and lock them up while the rich who commit the actual crimes settle with plea bargain. There is a continuous affront on the sensibilities of Nigerians by government officials and this must stop.

The approach taken by government over the planned removal of fuel subsidy is yet another example of how not to govern. I do want the removal of subsidy because it is indeed bleeding the economy out, because am completely against anything that would make a few people rich at the expense of the poor. However I won’t support a policy where the poor pays for the sins of a faceless cabal. Some assurances that government can provide “shock absorbers” must be given first. There has to be an alternative way to redirect the subsidy so that people don’t suffer. If the government can for instance subsidize transportation in such a way that transport fares remain the same irrespective of fuel subsidy removal. This way, the transporters get the funds directly when the subsidy is removed.  

But talking about subsidy removal while the jets in the presidential fleet keep increasing is irresponsible of government. The superfluous number of presidential aides and the unnecessarily extra allowances shared by members of the NASS members is enough reason for the planned subsidy removal to be resisted. How long will the government punish its citizens for its own ineptitude? How long can Nigerians continue to condone this sort of harassment? Some Nigerians are beginning to regret the way they voted in April because it seems there is no clear direction to this administration.  The truth be told, if PMS becomes 400 naira per liter, the proponents of fuel subsidy won’t buy fuel from their pockets. The Petroleum Minister, Finance Minister and Governor of Central Bank who are the protagonist backing the planned removal, are all driven in official cars. Their health and those of their family members are well taken care of and will certainly not feel the brunt the regular poor folks will feel.  If subsidy must be removed, then everybody in government must be seen to share in the impact.

It is Christmas today, but about this time last year I bemoaned the apparent incompetence of our security forces after two bombs went off in Abuja. And exactly a year after, Boko Haram has continued to slaughter innocent people. As at the time of this report, multiple bombs blast have exploded in Madalla, near Suleja. What makes this especially annoying is that the targets are now Christians in churches. Boko Haram’s manifesto of establishing an Islamic state is being carried out. Whole families were killed today (Christmas Day) at St Theresa’s Church. Apparently the government has no answer to Boko Haram.  It is bad enough that government pays lip service to the protection of the lives and properties of its citizens, but what is particularly infuriating is that the ones that have been identified to having links with the sects have been let off easy. Ali Sanda Umar konduga (a.k.a Al Zawahiri), the man accused and convicted of being the spokesperson of the sect was sentenced to 3 years in prison. I haven’t seen anywhere in the world where terrorism is punished with a three years jail term. Is it that the blood spilled by Boko Haram doesn’t mean anything? This man should have been used as an example for anyone with links to Boko Haram. What are we now saying, blow up the UN building, blow up the police building, and kill all you can, if we catch you, we will try not to catch you, but if we do, we hope 3 years won’t hurt you so much. The Senator accused of having ties with Boko Haram was granted 25million naira bail! Where in the world does this happen? His colleagues have come to his rescue by saying, that he is innocent until proven guilty. For a senator to be accused of such am heinous crime is enough for him to resign. In a sane community, his colleagues will distant themselves from him but with Nigeria, it’s a family affair.  

While the reports of these blasts were being shown on Aljazeera and the BBC, NTA was showing a music festival. Their casualty figures are always lower than those reported by foreign media. Later on, they (NTA) put up a documentary on how Muslims appreciate Christmas and Christians apparently to douse tension even before officially breaking the news.

The President’s said this in response to Sunday’s blast: “the era of Bomb Blast would soon be a thing of the past”. What does the President and his associate want Nigerians to do now before it becomes a thing of the past? Whatever plan he has for Boko Haram is apparently not imminent. For it will “soon” be a thing of the past. So what should Christians begin to do now? Train their own soldiers, or begin to import their own arms? I am sick of hearing about stakeholders meetings on security. People are dying, humans were roasted like chickens and yet we will grant a senator bail. We need to have our heads examined in this country. By the way, nobody talks about the Iranians that smuggled arms into Nigeria some time ago. I feel like I am the only one who remembers that arms that could start a Civil War were confiscated by the Federal Government. We still retain the same diplomatic stance with Iran and its back to business as usual.  Shame, Shame Shame.

Nobody saw Mohammed Bouazizi coming. Nobody envisioned or foresaw the domino effect his sacrifice could bring. I do not support violence in any form. But I do know that at the rate we are going, the people will begin to fight back. They will begin to say, “No, it’s enough”. Bishop T.D Jakes fondly says that nothing brings people together like adversity.  Nigerians face adversity everyday in every form. Economic adversity, security adversity, corruption adversity, injustice adversity and oppression adversity. Egyptians moved to Tarhir Square to protest against their government. Right now Nigerians are protesting in their hearts; let’s pray we don’t have to go to Tafawa Balewa Square.

©2011 Otaigbe Itua Ewoigbokhan

Itualive! ™

CHRONICLES OF A MOTOR PARK: MR DABID MAKUS (PART TWO)

Lagos: The City of Chaotic Order

(Music plays in bus stereo)

Awa govament bad o

Dem no wan give ghetto man jab o

My God o

If ghetto man no get work, my brother how we go take survive

(PHONE RINGS IN BUS)

Driver lowa dis ya music abeg (driver obliges and turns knob a little)

Hello, good afternoon, hello, hello (call terminates)

Dis hempty-n pipu sef, since morning their network no just dey go

(PHONE RINGS AGAIN)

 Hello, Hello. Good moning

Yes, this is Dabid Makus, who is this?

Ha, Mr. Kinleji Vankole, my patna in crime, na you be dis, how body?

How dem madams dem? (chuckles)

Jesus! Who you tuk say die? Who, your wife? How manage?

Oh my God, accident? Oh my God. Sorry o.

When? Where? How manage?

(Complete silence in the bus, driver turns radio off completely)

Eiwoh, for where? Benin-Ore Road? Oh my God

Your pikin nkon…Oh, my God, Dotun die too? Oh my God

Doe, sorry, it is well, God is in control, the Lord knows best, it is well enh

Oh my God!  Dis ember months don start again o. Na God go help all of us. In all things give thanks my broda

So wetin go happen now, what’s the next step, burial? (Facial expression stiffens at response)

Ooo-k-a-yy, money. Like how much?

Kai Oga Kinleji, things no too straight right now

Na very wrong time in the year be dis but I will see what I can do, you hear

You are welcome. Take care. (Conversation ends)

Mschew (shakes head). Wonders shall never cease.

See dis life so. Na true say no condition is permanent.

Una see dis man whey call me so, im broda na big man for Abuja before

Govament give im broda contract of 7 billion for dis same Benin-Ore road.

Dem chop the money, dem pour coal tar abandon the road come chop the money

Dem no even fit talk say, Dabid, take dis small thing hold body

(Cement! conductor screams, owa o, a passenger responds)

EFCC cash dem, govament revoke the contract, now life don change for the man

E wan come borrow money from me.  Nonsense!

Oga you for talk say na because dem no show you face, na im you dey vex

Oh no, not at all, that’s not my point. What about the other pipu wey perish for the accident

I dey vex becos that money wey dem chop cause the accident. That’s na wein dey vex me


Oga as you dey talk no good. When person die, we suppose show compassion now

As those pipu perish for express so, e fit be anybody family member for accident next time. We no even get compassion again.
E show say our own don finish for dis country so? As anybody fit die at anytime.

Na your own finish o, I reject it in Jesus name. I cover my family with the blood of Jesus

Madam I follow you talk? Which one be the one wey you dey reject in Jesus name?

(Laughter in bus)

No be only roads for dis country kpafuka

Everything don spoil. No light, no water, no security.  

We dey get light one hour every day before and now the transformer blow this morning

Ah your own better now, for my area now for Ketu, we never get light for tere months.

Everything wey President Lucky tuk say e go do, e never do one. Not even one. Very tereble

No be all of una dey shat South-South dat year,

Na lie o, me na that Pastor I vote for

Me na the Alhaji I vote for

I had no shoes; I had no shoes, who get shoe wen im small

Me wey trek from Sakponba road for Benin take reach Ekenwan go school and I still carry first.

Oga I know Benin well well o, and na ashawo girls full that place wey you just call, you sure say na school you go so?

(More laughter in bus)

Anyway, no be one day dem take build Rome, abi no be so dem dey talk am

Yes o , my brother you are right. To the point say, pipu don dey sue  govament for court

Una no see Baba Suwe, e don hammer now. 25 million naira, just like that

O boy ye, that man don hammer no be small

Dem tuk say e use jass take hide the cocaine

Kai, Nigerians, how person go hide cocaine for tere weeks! impossicant

E-pa forget that thing sa, na Ijebu man o, their otumopko get as e be.

(Ogun toh bad gan, conductor interjects with a smile

Babalawo gidi loló ba)

(Driver puts radio back on,)

Molowo molowo noni

Mo nawo mo nawo noni ah ah

Baba God noni ah ah

And now I got more money

Noni, I thank God for me

Noni, and they call me Whizzy

Mo dupe lowo Olorun noni

Aye mo wale sugbon mo njaye jeje

I no send no body

Driver abeg stop now. I forget something at Ikeja bus stop. 

Mo le du ro o. lai lai. Iyana-Ipaja le ma bole

Driver stop for the man now, at least LASTMA no dey dis side (a passenger from behind pleads).

(Bus driver stops grudgingly, Dabid Makus and two male passengers from behind alight. Bus continues to Iyana-Ipaja)

Iceprince, lets go, Samklef, what it do, Iceprince

Listen, Noni, Why these girls bleeding on me

Why are they pouring the evil spirits on me

Am still upcoming but am getting money

And next year my star is gonna be sunny

I don’t play the piano but am always on key

Driver abeg stop, I no see my phone again!

My Wallet is gone!

Stop this moto now, person don tif my purse…

To Be Continued…

©2011 Otaigbe Itua Ewoigbokhan

NB: The characters used in this piece are fictional and semblance to real persons is entirely coincidental.

Itualive! ™

CHRONICLES OF A MOTOR PARK: MR. DABID MAKUS

Lagos: The City of Chaotic Order

(Conductors Chanting)

 Oshodi Oke, Oshodi Oke

Iyana-Ipaja, Iyana- Ipaja

Ojuelegba-Stadium-Baracks

Ketu-Ojota-Mile 12

Oshodi Oshodi Oke, Oshodi Oshodi Oke

Ewole kpelu changi o, Enta wit your change

Na sis for back, madam abeg shift inside

Ketu lanlo straight o, no dropping for Maryland

Madam I say shift make another passenga enta; na sis for back

Dis place tite now, where you want make I shift go

Na sis passenga we dey carry for back

Idi e ti to bi ju!

Your papa, you tink say I no hear yoroba

Na your mama you dey follow tuck. Ekwensu. Otunegi caravan

Passenga fe wole. If you no wan shift come down

Madam please come and sit in front with me

Conductor, shebi na two for front, make she come manage with me for here

(Driver interjects) Na one for front. Awon olopa wan titi o. Police dey road o. Abi you get waso wey you go give dem.

If that’s the case, make she come front, I go settle dem.

(Passengers wait for last commuter)

Onwole Okpomo (Pregnant woman with infants strapped to her back finally enters and sits)

Your money for back. Three hundred naira change o

(Up roar in bus)

What rubbish, For What, Lai Lai, God forbid, You Be Tiff? Omo Ale Oshi, Ko ni Da fu e

When I dey suffa buy fuel, 200 naira pa lita, where you dey? Govament don commot subsidy.

Sodiafor pay me my money or come down. Ko si story!

Dem commot subsidy no mean say bus wey I enta yestaday for here 70 naira go don reach 300. Which kain tiff you be sef? Driver you no go caution your conductor?

No be fight o, if you no fit pay me my money, abeg come down. Iyana-Ipaja, Iyana-Ipaja;

Iyana-Ipaja, Iyana-Ipaja (He chants)

Only God knows what dis country is turning into.

Na Yesterday, President Lucky announce the removal of subsidy and everything don go up.

Imagine Yaba to Ojuelegba dis moning na 100 naira. See as people dey rush for BRT today like animal.  Na God go punish dis government people. I say God go punish all of them. Na me Mr. Dabid Makus tuk am….

To Be Continued…

©2011 Ewoigbokhan Otaigbe Itua

NB: The characters used in this piece are fictional and semblance to real persons is entirely coincidental

Itualive! ™

FUEL SUBSIDY, BABA SUWE AND ONE OTHER THING

 

The news making the rounds in recent times is government’s decision to completely remove fuel subsidy by January 2012. The decision has thrown up a nationwide debate that has polarized views with the majority kicking against it. While some, especially government officials have thrown their weight fully behind it, most like myself scream blue murder. President Jonathan seems quite convinced that fuel subsidy is the cause of every Nigerian problem and expects well meaning Nigerians like you and I to see reason with him.

President Jonathan’s two major proposals since assumption of office have been met with stiff opposition. First, he proposed a six-year single term in office for Presidents and Governors. The reason: to reduce the “desperation” and corruption while seeking elective office. I still think it curious that tenure elongation would be the first major business a newly elected government should be canvassing. This verve or “ginger” should have been directed towards delivering on election promises like providing Nigerians with stable electricity and rehabilitating roads and the usual brouhaha.  In my opinion, this move sought to benefit politicians more than the common man (whatever this means). Besides in a society where politicians have abused opportunities time and again, Nigerians have grown both suspicious and cynical of politicians’ motives and so the the last thing you want to do is bring this kind of thing up early in your administration even if your name is Goodluck.

 His second major attempt at brilliant policy making is turning out to be yet another disaster. Arguments supporting the retention or abolition of fuel subsidy abound, and after hearing both sides, I believe yet again that common sense is really not common. The numerous reasons supporting subsidy removal may not lack credence but its implementation is mistimed. I have been extremely careful in criticizing President Jonathan. I strongly believe some people should be giving time to “adjust” to their new roles. I am also aware that Nigerians are very religious people who seek a messiah that performs instant miracles. And when they realize that the blind aren’t seeing and the lame aren’t walking, we do what we know how to do best: complain! So I have been slow to throw any sort of diatribe or reveal my disparaging views but my patience is fast wearing thin. The lethargy in government is unbecoming and motion is like that of a rocking chair. In the words of Tu-face Idibia (aka Tu Baba), “Nothing dey Happen”.

 After taking a critical look at the two arguments on fuel subsidy we will see why government should go “sofree sofree” on this issue.

 

THE “SUBSIDY FRAUD”

The major argument against fuel subsidy is the humongous fraud inherent in it.  Millions are paid out to undeserving individuals daily at the expense of the ordinary Nigerian. The subsidy which is supposed to support the common man (I hate this word)  is a smoke screen for the thievery happening behind the scene. The government once again blames the faceless cabal who they say is bleeding the nation out. Am not sure whether it’s the same cabal who fought Jonathan before he became substantive president or whether it’s another one. It appears that when any government has lost ideas on what to do, it blames a cabal. Let me give you a sneak-peek of how this fraud works.   A fuel importer could bring in 1000 metric tonnes and claim subsidy for 8,000 metric tonnes.  The “goodies” from the remaining 7000 tonnes will be shared. I will leave you to do the math. It runs into millions of naira each day. Everybody you can think of is involved. The oil companies contracted to import the fuel, the custom officers who sign off on the inflation of the figures, and off course you can’t do all this without the government officials who actually give the contracts. All these people make up the cabal.   A newspaper columnist gave me an insight into another dimension of the fraud which happens when the products imported are stored. He says, “because the NNPC imports more than it has storage facility for, the product is usually stored at private tank farms. If NNPC stores 30 million litres with your farm, you don’t have to account for 10 million litres. There is a process by which you can account for only 5 million litres as long as you know how to share the proceeds of the remaining 5 million litres with those who matter”. There are other “avenues” where members of the infamous cabal clean us out. The one I find most intriguing is this:  If the landing cost of PMS is N100 (it could be more), the importer gets subsidy payment of N35 per litre since our pump price is pegged at N65.   Off course you see nothing wrong at face value but if you knew that there are different grades of PMS (that sell at different prices) and as I here, the worst grade is imported into Nigeria but this importer gets paid as though he brought in the premium. An importer who brings in fuel can claim demurrage for   one month instead of one week. The people at the Petroleum Products Pricing Regulatory Agency (PPRA) approve the one month and get their cut. The fuel after being discharged is sent to all over the country and the Petroleum equalization fund (PEF) pays for the transportation to all corners of Nigeria to ensure that the fuel costs the same everywhere. The PEF guys make their cut when the marketer claims he sent 10 trucks to Sokoto while he only sent 5… Phew! Call it what you like, I call it blood money. This kind of corruption is just mad. You wake up early everyday working your butt off to make a life for yourself and there are people out there cheating their way into stupendous wealth. Truth be told, this kind of corruption is hard to resist. Some priest will gladly rip off the cassock for such a bounty. So it should not surprise you that for over almost two decades our refineries have been dead. No investor will touch them with a long stick. The money from importation is just too sweet. Government knows now that it is a waste of time to try to repair them. When you hear about Turn-Around-Maintenance (TAM), it is another scam to “chop” money. The money is shared because fixing those refineries would mean the end to the evil trade. It’s that simple. You will need real help to misunderstand it.  As at 2000, the amount spent on subsidy was about N1.5billion annually but it has risen to about N1.2 trillion in the first nine months of 2011- nearly the size of the capital budget for 2011! And this is why President Goodluck rightfully wants to get rid of subsidy.

The government’s position looks tenable until you begin to imagine the unbridled suffering it would cause the common man (once again). The poverty in the land is pervasive already and an increase in the pump price of fuel will doubtlessly lead to increased hardship. A day in Oshodi or Apapa in Lagos (am sure the same holds in Sokoto, Kano, Bauchi, Kogi, Benue and other Nigerian cities) will give anyone a wakeup call on what Nigerians go through to survive daily. Young men who should be in school or working decent jobs carry super yogo, viju and fan milk to sell in a country that produces oil.  Like citizens of other oil producing countries, Nigerians are entitled to derive maximum benefit from crude oil.  Citizens of the UAE do NOT do menial jobs. They live dignified lives but because of our leaders we are made suffer.  An investigation recently conducted by a Nigerian newspaper revealed that ‘petrol sells for the equivalent of N58.40k in Iran, N30.55k in Kuwait, N32.12k in Qatar; N17.52k in Saudi Arabia, N54.00k in the United Arab Emirates, N15.95k in Libya, N39.42k in Bahrain. They pay far less than what we are forced here to pay. Each of the aforementioned countries has functional refineries. For instance, Venezuela has 18 refineries most of which are dedicated to the exportation of refined petroleum products. In Nigeria, our four refineries currently produce below 10% of their capacity. If the National Assembly endorses the removal of subsidy, Nigerians would pay about N144 for a litre of petrol as if life wasn’t hard enough. Anytime I drive on Agege Motor Road on my way to church in Ota, I keep myself from cursing every minister of transport in Nigeria. The number of pot holes on the road outweighs the paved roads. A single pot hole can keep you an extra hour reducing life expectancy because of stress.

Every decision government takes has no way of improving the quality of life of the common man (last time I promise). Whenever government takes decisions, it is always the citizens that bear the brunt. This present government has always taken the laziest approach to things. It is far easier to remove subsidy that to “fish-out” the criminals who are feasting on our common wealth.  It is easier to elongate one’s tenure than to fix the corruption that makes elective positions so juicy that no one can resist. It is easier to negotiate with terrorist (Boko Haram) than do the harder task of investing in intelligence gathering and enforcing laws against terrorism. Boko Haram went on a killing (or bombing) orgy completely emasculating our security agencies. They murdered people needlessly in Northern Nigeria but government only began to take them seriously when Abuja became a target. Who is fooling who?

 As regards fuel subsidy, the responsible step would have been to prosecute the culprits but because one cannot be an integral member of the “cabal” and not have friends in government especially if those friends provide campaign funds. So it’s best to do it through the back door where nobody will be offended. The people who did the electing are left to suffer the repercussion and those hemorrhaging the country can throw lavish parties and buy more properties in Dubai and London. It’s sickening!

If a government is advocating austerity measures among her citizens, it should lead by example. What is one minister doing with up to 10 personal assistants? The Nigerian government’s recurrent expenditure is about 70% of the budget and they want the poor people to suffer for their profligacy? What are the National Assembly members doing with 360 new cars? President Goodluck led the highest contingent of about 120 people to Australia for the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting (CHOGM) with three executive jets. Who pays for the jet fuel and maintenance of these jets? Won’t everyone aboard the plane be paid estacodes and per diem for saying “Yessir, Yessir”? If the government will not reduce its spending to save for capital projects it has no moral or legal right (I think my lawyer friends refer to this as locus standi) to demand that Nigerians take on the extra burden. By the way, the Head of the Commonwealth of Nations, the Queen of England, went by British Airways (BA).

Nigerian governments should learn to be responsible and do the right thing and this is why I will not support fuel subsidy removal now. What exactly does the government do for her citizens as a social responsibility? The only thing that is considered as social security-subsidy-now hangs in the balance. Every bill that will benefit the common man (aarghh) and develop the Nigerian economy like the PIB is stalled in the National Assembly. But when it comes to allocating allowances and buying new cars, they say the ayes very fast and the gavel is hammered. State government will “drag leg” to pay minimum wage but will approve a new governors lodge “shap shap”.   Is subsidy the reason why we have unpaved roads and underdeveloped towns and cities? What is the assurance that the extra money from subsidy removal will be used properly and not enter “one chance”?

I can go on and on on this issue but it has already been over flogged. The conclusion of the whole matter is this: the government can never inspire patriotism in her citizen till it begins to protect and provide for them. I hate the fact that a few are benefiting from what belongs to 80 percent of us, but a system created them and the system should destroy them. Any more encroachment into the space of the common man (lol) may lead to Armageddon.

 

BABA SUWE DOES NOT GIVE A “SHIT”!

Babatunde Omidina popularly as Baba Suwe has been released after being detained by officials of the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA) for 23 days on the suspicion that he had ingested “16 wraps” of an illegal substance. His “shit” has been a matter of public discussion for all who cared to know. A man who has made us laugh and helped lighten the mood in our homes was subjected to such humiliation and it should not be taken lightly. Our politicians loot our treasury and are celebrated and given chieftaincy titles and MON’s. Someone who plies an honest trade is being harassed. I pray he sues them five ways from London!

 

 

ARSENAL FOR LIFE

We lost miserably to Manchester United in our worst defeat in almost a century earlier this season. We also had a terrible run in the Premier league but we have managed to survive. We haven’t just survived; we are almost back in the title race. All that is left is for Man City to lose five times while we win. Also Man United and Chelsea also have to lose a couple while we win. Em em, even Newcastle United has to lose.

©Ewoigbokhan Otaigbe Itua

Lagos, Nigeria

Itualive! ™

A Blog’s Life

Last week was the inaugural anniversary of Itualive! A blog I am proud to be a part of. Blogger Itua had captured some of the things that had gone into the making. But perhaps I can shed some more light on the beginnings of the blog and on some pieces.

Itua and I like to think we have some stimulating discussions on several topics stretching into the night some times, if it’s an argument it is mostly the case that we sleep off with no resolution, both of us certain we have each won by presenting compelling points, though uncertainty hangs over our beds like a shroud. There are times when I see the pieces on his blog like a continuation of our late night discussions but this time the blogger, (the bugger) has the last word, leaving no chance for me to get in my very reasonable objections. I have been lucky just once when he allowed my review of Tango With Me on the blog- the only time the tyrant has permitted dissent.

Sometime last year he came up with the idea of blogging, putting his thoughts out there. I supported him not knowing that soon I would be robbed of sleep as every post comes with a call or text to read- yet the man had the nerve to urge readers to blame me for the grammatical errors and typos.

Still I would say it has been a rewarding experience gracing this blog and vetting the pieces. It has given me a perspective on the language and I have come to understand that beneath every young Nigerian’s (apparent) mindlessness, there is a heart that beats for the country as you would hardly be able to tell from the blogger’s demeanour that such thought provoking pieces can come from the same person who by day and in real life- whatever that means online- is a fun person. It did not even seem like he would be able to keep it up. But cometh the hour, cometh the man…

By now, it’s a cliché to have a blog and it had seemed like Itualive! was just going to be one of the several vanity driven projects out there- if you know the blogger personally this would make more sense. But the posts so far have managed to put the issues on the front burner while the man himself takes a backseat. I consider it remarkable that such is possible, that moment when you realize that the angry, insightful, witty, sad piece you have just read is from someone who you have ate concoction rice from same dented pot, sometimes without cutlery! It is perhaps the most shocking thing about writing and writers looking from the inside- that moment when you realize that the ordinary guy you have always known has these strong feelings and can put it down clearly. There are times it feels like a miracle.

The blog has had several hits as the blogger pointed out in the piece making one year. But beyond the numbers, it is the arguments that some posts have elicited that I find most gratifying. I take it personally when these posts cause a ruckus and there is a debate and I mean that even when most readers take the opposite view. I function on the periphery but I find it pleasing.

As far as topics go, the constant reader (a la Stephen King) would notice that while the blogger writes politics and some social commentary, my pieces have been primarily about art. Movies, music and books have been my focus and it isn’t because “politics is a dirty game”. But the blogger has it covered and I have been ‘commissioned’ to do reviews, same way Colin Obaitan does sports and Ladi Opaluwa can pretty much send in whatever catches her fancy. I would ignore her astonishing ability and say: Yes, there seems to be some sexism going on, but I won’t say anything about that…

So far, of the guests on the site, I have the highest hits- a position I take much pride in. I should rub it in their face but I am much too nice, thank you. That piece of fact is also another thing the blog has given me- the chance to get my own thoughts online and reach out to the internet demographic. Therefore in a way, I get to pay for this chance with those midnight calls asking me to read and reread.

Lest I bore everyone and unearth any more “company secrets”, this is a thank you, a congratulatory note and perhaps a plea to reduce the midnight entreaties.

Oris Aigbokhaevbolo

 Asokoro, Abuja.

ITUALIVE! IS ONE

About a year ago, on Sunday, October 10^th 2010 to be exact, I made my first public post on itualive! It was titled, Nigeria: Political macabre dance, Cecelia Ibru and the Ex-SAN.  Before going public, I had also posted a review of Ijé, a Nollywood block buster that casted Genevieve Nnaji and Omotola Jalade Ekeinde. There was also a post on the exploits of Bishop Oyedepo’s of Living Faith Church that I got from Wikipedia. In the last one year, I have posted essays, poems, reviews and short stories in keeping with the theme of the blog. 

I would not say writing virtually every week has been a walk in the park (especially when it’s for free) but hosting this blog has taught me a few things in life. One of such lessons is to start where you are no matter how little the resources available to you. Another is having what Ray Ozolua (one of my favourite lecturers back then in University) would call “consistency of purpose”. You never know what an idea may become or where that small business may transform into. If you feel a nudge to do something, it’s best to go full throttle. As at today, Itualive! boasts of more than 11,000 hits on the blog directly (minus indirect links through social media sites like facebook and twitter). I have readers from every continent in the world including France, Malaysia, India, Canada and Australia. 

It all began one day as I read a Thisday online article after President Jonathan assumed office as substantive president in May of 2010. There was the argument about zoning and whether he had the moral right to run against the likes of Atiku Abubakar and Gen. Muhamadu Buhari. I dropped in a comment and I noticed I had a strong argument in support of “destiny” (I don’t feel so strongly about that now anyway). My comment was about 500 words and I thought, if I could feel so strongly about issues that affect we as Nigerians, especially on someone else’s article,  I could take it a bit further by getting people to buy into my own ideas. Voila!

And so I spoke to my friend Oris Aigbokhaevbolo about it, he is someone Stephen King calls the ideal Reader (IR). If you are an aspiring writer out there you need to get yourself one. An IR is someone who would save you from yourself. Oribhabor gave me the morale support I needed while my girlfriend was there to you know, spice things up. Actually, she has eyes for colours, so she helps with the site’s aesthetics. Because of her, I know which colours look friendly to the eyes and all that. And so after the colours were sorted, I started writing. Itualive! has ran virtually every week in the last year and I am grateful to God Almighty for the grace to invade your computers and mobile phones unfettered. I have seen the readership base grow beyond what I ever imagined and sometimes I do wonder what you find so interesting. It has also given me some form of social responsibility to represent Nigeria in my own way.

I write usually about whatever interests me at the time but recently I have stayed away from political issues because I have become quiet disillusioned over the Nigeria’s political stratosphere. It is becoming more and more asphyxiating and it appears the decision makers may not be ready to save Nigeria from shame. I hear about 30 billion dollars is being allocated for yet another National Identity card project. What happened to the ones in the past? For heaven’s sake I was under the sun for hours waiting to be registered in Obasanjo’s administration. Let’s assume for the sake of argument that we need National ID cards to breath, are we saying that the people who “walloped” the money for the botched processes in the past can go scot free. What lessons should we be taken from this: that people can come together, decide to steal money and take Nigerians for a ride and be rewarded with more contracts? It’s bad enough that 30 billion is going to be drained ones more (because it is IMPOSSIBLE to have sustainable development with blatant corruption in government circles) on another jamboree but what is really staggering is that the 30 billion naira is for phase 1. Now they want to “chop” in phases. And the saddest part is that they probably will still get away with it. Recurrent expenditure is at an astronomical cost in the country. Government officials spend millions on frivolous foreign trips and are not accountable to anybody. I believe that one day all these nonsense would stop. It just has to stop. All the GSM networks were ordered to conduct a SIM card registration process, yet the NCC embarked on its own independent money wasting venture. Data that could have been pooled from the Networks had to be duplicated because people must chop. All the GSM networks I subscribe to have my photograph and finger print. And am sure it’s the same for most Nigerians, so why can’t the committee on ID card just collate all these data? Anyway I wouldn’t want to spoil today’s anniversary with corruption issues so let’s move on…

This blog hasn’t just been about writing, the feedback I get from many of you have been a source of encouragement to continue to strive for excellence. I monitor the traffic on the blog keenly and I have noticed that some write ups are read more than others and these write-ups make up the POPULAR POSTS on the left hand corner of the blog. I like to refer to them as the “Hall of Fame”. The top 10 most read posts have also helped me categorize the interests my readers have. For instance: the article on Oyedepo is the most read piece on the blog (and I didn’t even write it painfully) suggesting that most Nigerians take religion seriously. We also take good writing seriously as the second on the “hall of fame” is Oris’ “Boys and Girls” short story (am pained that the second most read article here is still not mine but still..). My writings finally take seven of the remaining eight on the top 10 (phew!). After so many articles, the top ten may not necessarily portray the best writing as I have personal favourites that I believe deserve another mention. Chronicles of the Palm Wine Shop (Part 2) to me deserves to be on that list. I have struggled with the idea of resurrecting Madam Josephine again. I believe she has a bigger role to play in the future so please stay tuned. Obliquity is a short story I penned a while back and should join the likes of Relationship: Recipe for Disaster, Wedding Bells or Are My Ears Just Ringing and NYSC and the Killing of the Innocent in the list.

There were sometimes when I thought the blog was a burden and some friends of mine came to my rescue. The only Lady on Itualive! Ladi Opaluwa has helped me in no small way. Her poems (especially The Question the Whiteman asked my father) has fingered my literary nerve inspiring me to do more literary writings. Her short stories and essays show she’s a class apart. Another writer who has also enriched itualive! is my sport analyst, Collin Obaitan. I really do wish you all could meet this guy. I have been friends with him for over 8 years and I still haven’t figured him out (and that’s a compliment). Credits shouldn’t even begin without mentioning Oris Aigbokhaevbolo again; he is also responsible for the success of the blog. I send him my first drafts at odd hours to edit and he always indulges me. He is myself acclaimed editor and can be credited for most of the good stuff you see. He is also to blame for the typos and numerous grammatical errors by the way!

I would like to specially thank everyone who has left a kind (or not so kind) comment on this site or on other social media sites. I also apologise as I know I have offended quiet a number of people with my post especially when sharing it on facebook. When I send bulk messages to advertise my post, my intention is not to run down your batteries but only to share the link. I have been warned sternly by some never to share my link in their boxes again. I do apologise for this intrusion and hope to improve on my sharing capabilities subsequently. 

In no particular other, I would like to thank the following people for the encouragement they have rendered. I say  a big thank you to Cheta Obika (my number one fan), Edewede Akpesiri Odia Ruki (aka Sui generis), Douglas Baye Osagie, Toni Kan (for being a mentor), Wale Mohammed, Olawale Fabiyi Taza, Jimlas, Ray Ozolua, Nnamdi Ndueche, Adaeze Ezemwa, Adebanjo Abdulazeez, Adebayo Paul, Adedigba Muyideen, Aghanemuzor Daniel, Amadin Erins, Amayo Osahon Ida Allison, Olaya Osayeme, Efe Xigma, Ubasinache Otuonye, Omozemoje Asse, Nwankwo Nonso, Abhulihmen Anthony, Christian Osi, Ejiro Diakparomre, Amy Louis, Anne Oba, Arinze Ekwem, Asikhame Oikeh, Basil Valentine, Bernard Onuorah, Dewunmi Odujoko, Bolaji Ogungbe, Bolanle Peju, Chukwuemeka Obiukwukema, Okeke Chukwuma, Dave Meres, Ebade Abu, Eburu Rhume, Okowonna Tochi, Samson Zinom, Oseyi Okoh, Emmanuel Eborka, Ene Jane, Faith Adogame, Goziem Nweke, Godfrey Umhenim, Otutu Allen, Iveren Akaaer. Idowu Akinloye, Muyideen Adedigba, Isa Musa, Olakunle Jones, Soni Akoji, Jide Atta, Kehinde Okusaga, Franklin Markson, Mary Aki, Muhammed Tahir, Ndubuisi Chinedu, Stephen  Akinlua, Izy Umoru, Chuckwu Vera and lastly Mark Zuckerberg.

Forgive me if I missed out your name, but even the writer of Hebrews also couldn’t list all the names of those that walked in faith in verse 32 of chapter 11. I thank you all so much for the support and I pray that this time next year, itualive! would have expanded with more writers and more depth.

It has certainly been a pleasure…Cheers!

©2011 Ewoigbokhan Otaigbe Itua

Lagos, Nigeria

Superstar? Super Sun? Poor You

Listening to Nigerian music these days; something is glaring or rather the lack of something is obvious. Where are the regular guys? The broke blokes? If we are to believe the news, Nigerians are getting poorer, a significant percentage of the youth are unemployed. But somehow this malignancy has escaped today’s musicians.

It wasn’t always like this. We had Fela in the 70s, who while not quite as indigent as his audience, was conscious enough to speak their plight in his music. By the 90s, Fela’s political activism had given way to social consciousness as young men from the ghetto (especially Ajegunle) entered and dominated music. Daddy Showkey, Daddy Fresh, Baba Fryo sang of their plight and thus reflected the condition of average Nigerian.

By the 2000s, these musicians were eased out mainly due to low sales and the new boys quickly took over. These new boys brought superiority into the budding industry-these artists were smarter than the previous crop and became richer. Nothing succeeds as success and soon artists in faraway lands with artistic ambitions came back and the new order developed deep roots.

Unfortunately, this superiority carried over to the music and soon they were better than the majority of Nigerians. They had more money, more education and more talent. Naturally, vanity became a theme. A song is incomplete if the artist doesn’t chant their name, back when Daddy Showkey sang, “welcome Daddy Showkey, Welcome”, it was an introduction and an assertion of a self that had been hidden under a layer of poverty and obscurity.  These days it is a boast and a reminder that I did this.

Music from 90s excluded the rich who didn’t see the need for such assertion when a fat wallet was sufficient, besides wealthy families considered their offspring beyond an industry that had touts and ‘ne’er do wells’ as poster boys. Not anymore though, in contemporary music a display of wealth is necessary, even previously regular guys like Timaya now have to brag about their possessions. Recently, Soundcity’s Top 10 had only one ‘regular’ guy, Oritshe Femi. And even he had flashy clothes in contrast with the setting of the video. The message is, I am from here but I am not like them. Enraptured by the spectacle, viewers lap it up ignoring the message same way listeners dance to the beat ignoring the lyrics.

The present structure opened the gates for a young man with musical ambitions to thrive, especially taken under the wings of one of the successful musicians of the period. A young man who could never have survived the tortuous terrain of the 90s, but things have been made easy for Wizkid to own a significant portion of the pop music market.

In his debut album he begins with a song with a vanity title, Say My Name. “Everywhere I go…everybody say my name, Wizzy!” His life has changed he says. He might as well say he is no more one of the regular guys.

By the second track, No Lele, he tries to identify with the public when he says, “them no know how this young boy from the ghetto make am”. Someone from Ajegunle is probably asking, which ghetto? A pertinent question when in the next track, Scatter the Floor, he says to a lady: “let’s negotiate…don’t hesitate let’s go to my estate”. How many people from the ghetto have estates? How many can muster the cash-enhanced charm in the man’s voice?

The themes don’t change much, the early tracks tout the concerns of the album which really are the concerns of a rich teenager: girls, clubbing, wooing women and spending money on women. To his credit, he sings with an easy flow on beats produced mainly by the previously underused Samklef. The conventional pop album is more concerned with wants than needs, sex than love, dancing than thought, melody above sense and Super Star doesn’t rise above these concerns and not unintentionally as it is easy to see that it is a package for clubs and for arenas. In short, Super Star is a compilation of singles.

But the inclusion of the somewhat sober Oluwa Lo Ni shows unease with the track list so that the song is the weakness in an album that really should embrace its mindlessness and preoccupation with fun. Placing it in the middle of the album is another drawback for as Tuface has already shown, for albums like this, the self-obligatory near Gospel song should come at the end of the album- an LP equivalent of Nollywood’s To God be the Glory.

There are other weaknesses, most noticeably song writing. The artist is evidently more comfortable freestyling than taking time to pen lyrics. He’d rather sing sugary nothings than craft a memorable line. The album probably has just a memorable line and he says it twice on two different tracks: “my money and their money no be mate”.

For all the spewing of mindless fun, the melody thins out halfway into the album, the latter half not living up to the promise of the earlier tracks and has to depend on the suspicious placing of the very popular Holla At Your Boy toward the end. This marks out the album as one of two halves and robs it of cohesion. A quality another debut has plentifully.

Bez’s Super Sun is one cohesive package of music without a single strand sticking out or depressed. From talking galactic-sized ambition on the eponymous track, to wooing new women or wanting old ones, to urging listeners to put their heart in their endeavours, to dismissing love as overrated, he delivers an outstanding if unusual palette of songs.

To be sure, Bez too has women on his mind but music on Super Sun covers a different spectrum from Super Star- if true love is alive, breathing and can be found in today’s music, Bez produces the oxygen and if it is flailing in despair soon to drown, his music is the closest to the resuscitation it will get. Just listen as he paints an innocently romantic picture on Say: “Jellybean, let’s be like we were 17, having dreams like sandcastles in Brazil…” An expensive dream to be sure but sung sincerely. Even when on Stop Pretending he mentions the names of several women, it is easy to believe that he can love them all fully and equally which amidst all the ass shaking and winding is a rare quality in contemporary music.

Ordinarily, music on Super Sun should be alienating as the sound is entirely different from what obtains in the country but there are cues in his music that rein the subtle excesses in. For example, when he mentions the popular free night call package from Mtn, Extra cool, he succeeds in capturing more about Nigerian youthful love than a thousand slangs from a thousand songs from other artistes.

Bez overindulges often: a needless change in melody in the delightfully dismissive Over You, some lines feel forced- the psychology, biology, chemistry line in Stop Pretending, even the album title for instance- but the music carries the songs home. The man plays the guitar, has a band so his music would be perfect for live performances- a fact that doesn’t go unnoticed by the producer as a couple of songs receive a live performance incarnation on the album though the applause does seem contrived.

The producer is Cobhams who has taken the vision he had on Asa’s debut, honed it and has made it manifest in broad yet subtle strokes here. Several things seem to be happening on the album as a whole and on individual tracks, most of these things taking place beneath the surface: from the violins and electric bell sounds of the opening track to the lush strings of Stop Pretending, to the abrupt percussion on …The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, to the quasi-whistling on Super Sun to the slight country sound on Technically, this is Cobhams harnessing what he had dispelled in previous works. From the general to the particular, he has taken the subtle composition from Asa’s debut, the pop sensitivity from Darey’s Undareyted and the whistling from Girl on a Plane a great but criminally overlooked song from Faze’s Independent. Added to these is the mastery of the mix on the remix to the title track featuring pleasing verses from three rappers (elDee especially keen to remind the public that before his present phase of assisted singing he was a rapper of immense talent, Chocolate City’s Ice Prince delivers as usual and surprise addition Eva reduces her Nicki Minaj influence to drop what is sure to be her best lines so far.)

Still, Bez is not the 90s musician of the noughties, he can’t be. His audience has been cut out for him already. At least he doesn’t pretend like he is (the last song on the album dismisses the common childhood rhymes  of the average Nigerian as stupid even as he renders the  nursery rhymes of richer kids more reverentially, a less elitist artist would recognize that while those songs are not packed with meaning, they are still far from stupid). His album jacket suggests he had elite education, his voice doesn’t have the accent or grit of the longsuffering Nigerian and his music is too smooth to be visceral but his themes are personal and by speaking for one man, one man in love, one man in the throes of lust for a stranger, one man contemplating the ways of the world he succeeds in speaking for all of us even if it’s in a language a majority of Nigerians won’t understand for as Clint Eastwood has said, “Emotions don’t need translation”. Pity then, that most won’t get to listen to his music- they would be too busy dancing to other artistes display cash and conquests.

Bez would definitely not sell out and his songs would not receive massive airplay. He can blame his genre or the audience, but in a clime where those with the credentials for singing conscious music are distracted by the concept of ‘swagger’ and fail to craft socially relevant songs, he can console himself that he has come good.

Thus, the new era has raised two artistes, who would have been defeated by the rough nature of the path to music stardom in the 90s, to prominence but while they both have super galactic aims, one succumbs to the new order and thrives on it, the other seeks to redefine it and possibly transcend it. However, listeners would recognize that neither artiste really reflects their circumstance.

May the better artiste sell more units?

 Don’t count on it.

Oris Aigbokhaevbolo

 Asokoro, Abuja.